Insert Bad Superhero Name Here
by Isis the Sphinx
Summary: An ACMSES story. What happens when the Library's walls are breached a second time? Tragedy strikes, and the agents are at a loss to what exactly happened. You've been warned. Rated M for a REASON! Martialshipping Rhia/Cristoph Multi-chapter. Review!
1. Chapter 1

Ok, first off, for those of you who came for a Kick A** story and don't know what the Anti-Cliche and Mary-Sue Elimination Society is, you're gonna be a little lost. But seeing as the Society has similar roots to what this fandom is, you may just enjoy it anyway. And if you're curious about the ACMSES, look us up on google, we get a few hits.

For those of you who know what the ACMSES is: I had wanted this to be the 200th fic for the C2, but when it gets to a certain point, people will write fics and just wait, so nothing gets done. So, I'll post, and hope it gets others to do so as well.

Disclaimer: I don't own Kick A**, and I don't own most of the Society agents. I only own Rhia.

Thanks to Aster Selene for giving me a small idea to the next season's plot, and Prince Aladdin2 for letting me use Willie. Much obliged!

And a shout out to MulitplePersonas, you haven't been forgotten.

* * *

Rhia slammed the door behind her as she walked in from Real Life. Her angry mutterings were of a somewhat surprising subject. "Yes, Mother, I'm on academic probation. No, mother, I did not slack off during semester." She rolled her eyes and stuck her head in the fridge door. She took her head out after a moment and slammed the fridge door, as well. "Need more eggs." The glass bottles inside could be heard rattling around. Clanking and small crashes rang out as Rhia pulled out various bowls and cooking implements. She didn't know what she was going to make, all she knew was that it was going to be long, involved, and include lots of violent movements. And perhaps long, sharp knives. Yes, now would be a good time to break out that new knife kit. Rhia eyed the new-looking package on the table. Yeap, today was the perfect day for those babies.

It was well into whatever the Library's resident chef was doing when a knock sounded on the door.

"Come in!" Rhia yelled over her shoulder.

Willie, of all people, sauntered in. Since the attack on Willie's society—of which he spoke very little—Willie had changed quite a bit. His skin had turned very sallow, and had gained quite a few new scars, some of which were visible on his face. His normal battle regalia was much more involved, but for now he was just going for a simple black, full body armor suit and 'Sweeny Todd'-esqe razors at his hips.

"Heya Rhia, what'cha doin'?"

"Willie? What are you—" Rhia looked over her shoulder at him, intending to at least look in his general direction while talking, but the meat in front of her sizzled the wrong way and so she had to keep her full attention on it. "What are you doing here?"

"Oh, just bored. Was hoping I could watch you work."

The woman hissed when the chicken in front of her _continued_ to disobey her commands. "Yeah, sure."

Finally, after some violent prodding and the promise that the chicken's _descendants_ would feel what she would do to it if it didn't behave, the chicken decided to brown the way Rhia wanted it to. She turned to prepare some vegetables for a separate dish, and bumped into something. "Willie, what are you doing there? I thought you wanted to _watch,_ not hover."

"Hmm? Am I too close? Sorry."

"Look, just…not so close? I know it's hard to see anything around me."

"Okay." Willie shrugged.

More time passed, and the work in the end seemed to be shaping out into an actual dish, and not just pieces randomly put together. Chicken curry with a vegetable bed and a brown rice side. Rhia sighed in relief when she saw that it was coming together nicely when she noticed a flicker of blue-purple flames shoot in a reflection in a pan. She whirled around and saw Willie tossing a globe of Hellfire back and forth between his hands.

Rhia glared. "I thought you wanted to watch me work."

Willie looked up. "Oh, I am." The sphere of Hellfire disappeared.

"If you're gonna play with magically induced fire, I think you should go somewhere else. I don't need a fire in my kitchen that's harder to put out than normal."

Willie frowned. "Fine." He crossed his arms and sat on the edge of the table. Rhia arched an eyebrow at him but turned back to her work.

Five minutes later Rhia's bad mood was back. "A watched pot never boils," she grumbled as she stared at one of her pots on the stove. And then winced when she heard the echoes of Shirley's scream. "Oops. Forgot." She ran off to the door with a huge chunk of cedar in the hopes of appeasing the resident Cliché Stick.

She opened the door a crack and shut it again quickly when a claw forced its way in. "Arrg! Lemme in!" Shirley growled through the door.

"Shirley, now, be reasonable about this."

The growling stopped. "I'm listening."

"I can't keep giving you cedar chunks if you rip my spine out."

"True."

"So, look, I've got a larger than normal cedar chunk right next to me. I'm gonna open the door, hand it to you, and then close the door. In return, you forget I ever said anything cliché-y in the first place."

"Basically, a bribe."

"Yeah."

A pause. "Deal."

Rhia opened the door, slowly, just in case Shirley was thinking of attacking anyway. When the door was open completely and Shirley hadn't moved from her spot, Rhia nudged the 2ftx2ft block of wood out the door and shut it just as slowly. Shirley was a bit more interested in the wood than Rhia, at this point in time. The door clicked closed and Rhia let out a breath.

Now, Shirley usually didn't go after her. When she did come out with a bad pun, it was usually small enough that Shirley would ignore her in favor of Ben; or Dave, who had become Shirley's new play toy, for some reason. Man wouldn't learn to keep his mouth shut. Either way, Rhia was not one of Shirley's main targets.

Rubbing her face to take away some of the stress there, Rhia looked up at her stove and nearly had a heart attack. Bright purple and blue flames raged across the stove, reaching over the borders and licking the counters. Anything that wasn't ceramic or steel immediately went up in smoke. The ceramic and steel tools got hotter and hotter until they started to melt. And in front of it all was Willie, trying his hardest to put the Hellfire induced blaze out.

"Willie, Willie, no! Get away from there!" She dashed up and grabbed Willie by the shoulder, dragging him away from the blaze. Still holding on to Willie's shoulder, she slammed down a large, red button that was on the doorjamb. A loud flush of hydraulics was heard and two panels came out of the wall and folded out into a box shape, which descended on the fire like a snuffer.

The snuffer stayed down for longer than they might have for a normal fire. When it retreated back into the walls, the damage made Rhia freeze in shock and Willie start to inch away from her. She staggered to the heat-warped lump of metal that used to be a stove. A small whimper came out, and then she squared her shoulders and grabbed a spare pan off a hook on the wall. Rhia turned to Willie with an angry snarl.

"Get out of my kitchen. I asked you nicely, and you continued to poke around. Just get out."

"Why should I? This Library is for everyone. Just because your name is on the door doesn't mean you can boss everybody around once they step through the doorway!" Willie crossed his arms.

"Yes it does! My name is on that door for a reason! I worked for it! No one else even dares try to do what I do! I let you in because you knocked, and then I asked you to leave when you wouldn't stop looking over my shoulder and prodding things. That Hellfire of yours? Apparently it loves gas stoves! I have to get a new stovetop now, it completely ate this one! Get out!"

"No!" He brought out his razors in response to Rhia's gesturing with her pan.

"Get out!" Rhia swung for his head and he dodged.

Willie slashed at her and she blocked it with the backside of her pan. She kicked him towards the door and Willie staggered back and bent over his middle with an "Oof."

He leaned forward to charge her, and had taken the first few steps when a hand grabbed his collar from behind. "Urk!"

"Calm down, both of you!" Hati yelled. She planted herself between the two angry agents and put her hands on her hips, the very image of an annoyed Society Leader. "I don't care what's happened right now. What I do care about is that two Society agents were fighting each other! Save it for the Sues!" She turned to Willie. "We are going to have a talk about who's got authority where." Harriet turned her gaze on Rhia. "And you know better!" Both agents were both by now looking down at the floor and scuffing it with their shoes.  
"Willie, out!" Hati commanded. Willie walked out, dragging his feet the whole way. Harriet followed him with a frown on her face.

Rhia closed the door behind them and slid down the back of it.

'_My day's gone from bad to worse. First I had to break the news to my Mom that I'm on academic probation. Oh that was _such_ a _wonderful_ conversation. Then Willie sets my stove on fire and melts it! I don't think I can take anymore today.'_ She groaned from her spot on the floor. "A break would be nice," Rhia said to the empty air. "To whatever deity that's listening, just a simple, worry-free day, that would be absolutely wonderful." She dropped her face in her hands. "Who am I kidding?"

* * *

It was quiet in the Library. This fact in and of itself was very, very odd. Someone was always breaking the Fourth Wall, or there was an explosion in the labs, or someone was chasing someone else down the halls. This kind of peace was unusual. Not to say it didn't happen, it did, it was just off kilter from the crazy that was Standard Operating Procedure for the Library.

Of course, this is a Library. One would think that quiet was something those inside it would want. Nah. The people inside were just waiting for something to shatter the peace.

Shirley the Cliché Stick twitched, and vowed to get her claws into the author of this story as soon as she could. The Fourth Wall rumbled.

Tyler yawned and stretched his arms. "I think it's time for a snack. Now, I know I kept a few things around here somewhere…" He walked over to the nearest bookshelf and started shuffling through the books. Now, he had a small habit that he didn't tell anyone else. He hid snacks here and there throughout the Library. How else was he supposed to appear as though he was always eating something?

He pulled a book off the shelf and all the lights went out. "That wasn't supposed to happen." He put the book back, turned around and immediately ran into another wall. "I meant to do that."

Elsewhere in the Library, Phoenixia's fingers were flying over the closest computer console. "(a) is in my computer system. AGAIN!" Phoenixia growled. "Whoever didn't clean their hard drives properly is gonna have guard duty with the Sues for a week! I mean it! She's causing havoc with the security protocols and she practically ate anything to do with the lighting system. All the lights are out in the Library. All of them! Her appetite is worse than Tyler's! And that's saying something, seeing as he pulled a Klinger and ate half a car once!"

"A Klinger?" Michael asked from next to Phoenixia.

She shook her head. "M*A*S*H reference. Main character was trying to get out of the military by proving his insanity, so he tried to eat a jeep."

"Oh."

The door to the left slammed open. "Who's in here?"

Michael turned toward the sound. "Michael and Phoenixia. Who're you?"

"Marcus. A scream was heard on the opposite side of the Library, near the Japanese history section. I'm going to check it out but it might be serious. Thought I should let you know. I'm checking on everyone as I go past them. And what's with the lights?"

"(a)'s in the system again. Keep going, I'll catch up in a minute."

"Right." The door slammed shut again.

"Phoenixia, keep going with the lights. I think we'll need them soon."

Phoenixia didn't hear him. She was too busy muttering curses at the computer screen and battling (a) to pay attention.

Marcus came to the next door in the hallway. "Anyone here?"

"Yeah. What's going on?"

"Tash?"

"Marcus?"

"(a)'s in the system and eating at the lighting programs. Phoenixia isn't happy."

Tash snickered. "I can imagine."

"You heard that scream a few minutes ago?"

She nodded, realized he couldn't see it, and verbalized it. "Yeah, I did. Was about to go and see what it was, but it was taking me longer than normal to get out of here. Don't want to use my fire ability around a bunch of books."

"C'mon. Let's—" At that moment the lights flickered back on.

"Woot for Phoenixia!" Tash cheered.

"Let's go." Marcus had a bad feeling about this.

The two ran to the next door, which was the public kitchen. Tash opened the door and came face to face with a surprised Harriet, Valerie and Monika.

Harriet opened her mouth first. "You hear the scream?"

"Uh-huh." Tash nodded.

"Have you found who did it yet?" Monika asked.

"No, but the next door is Rhia's domain and she might know."

Monika frowned. "Now that I think about it, that scream sounded a lot like her."

The four turned to head down the hallway, but Marcus was already there, opening the door. He stepped in, stopped in shock, and promptly split into his two halves. Emotion Marcus started to shake and Thought Marcus turned around to slow everyone else down.

By this time, the news had gotten around that there had been a scream and someone might be hurt. Agents were coming in from all over the place.

"B-back up, everyone. B-back up." Thought Marcus blocked the doorway with his body.

"What's the hold up?" Michael yelled from the back of the crowd. He had been in the monitor room when the lights went out and was having a hard time getting through.

"YOU NEED TO SEE THIS." Emotion Marcus said without turning to face him. The way his voice carried, he didn't need to. "TASH, HARRIET, VALERIE AND CRISTOPH SHOULD AS WELL." All of the agents immediately made a path from one end of the hallway to the other. Something was up. The leaders were only called in when the situation was critical. Valerie meant that someone was injured, and Cristoph meant that the injured agent was Rhia. The whole Society knew that Cristoph and Rhia had feelings for each other, but they refused to see it, or act on it. If Marcus thought that Cristoph should be there, then something was very, _very,_ wrong.

Harriet was the first in past Marcus, she stopped, put her hands over her mouth, and backed up against a wall. Valerie was second in, and she rushed straight in, her face a solid mask. Tash was third in; she whimpered and rushed after Valerie. Michael was fourth in. "Shit." He hissed in a breath and spun around. Cristoph was fifth in, and was stopped by Michael. "What is wrong, Lord Michael?" His eyes narrowed.  
"Brace yourself, Cristoph," was all Michael said, and turned to the side.

He slid past the other three, and his eyes went wide.

There was Rhia, sprawled out on her kitchen floor. A couple of pans were scattered on the floor. Her best kitchen knife was next to her, covered in blood. Her throat was slit, blood pooled under her, stained all down her shirt, turning it rust red. Her hands were covered in it, like she had tried to stop the flow herself. Her eyes were open and staring at the ceiling, the pupils completely dilated.

Cristoph fell on his knees next to Rhia's left side. Valerie had long ago stood up and backed away. There was nothing she could do. Tash was on Rhia's right, clutching her hand and crying silently. "No," Cristoph whispered. His hand reached out to her face, he touched her cheek. "No." He rubbed cupped her head in his hand and rubbed his thumb in small circles on her cheek. "My Lady Rhiannon…" Her face was still warm. She hadn't been dead long.

Cristoph's eyes were dry, though he was breathing heavily. He stood up and faced the crowd. Every agent was outside the door looking in. "Who did this?" His voice carried, and every agent heard the venom. His eyes were steel. "I will find them, and they will regret this. They will regret this, and then they will die." He left the kitchen, mindless of Rhia's blood on his hands. No one followed him.

* * *

Folks, this is a multi-chapter, so don't think all is lost just yet. I'll post the next chapter in a couple days after I get an inital reaction.

Hope you liked this.

(5/30/2010)

Read, review, multiply by 42?


	2. Chapter 2

Here's chapter two for you guys. I want to say thank you for so many reviews so quickly! *hugs reviewers* You guys are amazing!

Disclaimer: I don't own Kick A**, even though it doesn't come into play next chapter.

I'll let you get on with the chapter and yammer on at the end. Without further ado...

* * *

Two days. Two long, dark days since the Library blackout and the death of another Society agent. Phoenixia and Dave had been over every inch of the kitchen looking for evidence of who might've done it. No fingerprints, no hairs, no footprints. The sentient hologram-turned-human took it personally. The Society itself was shaken that one of their own was killed within Library walls. Someone got (a) to take down the security system to let them in, and kill the lights to give them the cover of darkness. The best suspect was another Sue. The question was who, why, and how.

As much as many of the agents would like to point fingers at Willie, as the last person to see Rhia alive, and the one person who got into a heated enough argument to possibly supply enough motive for the murder, Willie had no connections to (a), which cleared him as a suspect. That didn't mean people didn't whisper behind his back whenever he walked by, or glare at him whenever he walked into a room.

Cristoph, for the first day after Rhia's death, had spent it training, hard. He had left his room at 9am with Algazdun and entered Training Room C. He reemerged at 1pm to go back into his room for a moment, and returned to Training Room C without Algazdun soon after. Cristoph did not appear again until 10pm that night, completely exhausted. Any attempts by anyone else to talk to Cristoph were either ignored completely or met with grunts.

Tash, for the most part, was functioning only slightly better than she had when Adrian died. She avoided both kitchens like the plague, and ate very little. She kept up with the normal duties, but retreated to her room after finishing them and stayed there for hours.

The second day came, and hopefully it would lead to some closure. It was the day of the wake and the will reading. The wake was simple, short, and closed casket, via a request from a note attached to Rhia's will.

The will itself was in video form, created and given to Phoenixia a month after Adrian's death, just in case.

"I, Rhiannon, in sound of mind and body, hereby leave my last will and testament."

She was in her room, the wall behind her a pale blue. She sat on a simple, metal fold-out chair. Her outfit was a bit more formal than the normal dark jeans and a t-shirt. She wore a purple and black corseted tube-top, black netted elbow length fingerless gloves, and black pinstripe slacks. Her hair was down but swept back, and she wore a pair of simple stud earrings.

She wasn't quite smiling at the camera, but the corners of her eyes were turned up.

"First: Sound mind? Meh. I'm only saying that because the lawyer said I had to. You know better." Rhia smirked on the screen. The whole Society had gathered in the theater to watch the will, to watch one of their own say goodbye. Cristoph had to be metaphorically dragged out of his room.

"Second: Unfinished stories. I know I have a few; I'm constantly working on the things. I keep detailed outlines on my laptop. Whoever wants to finish them can. Just, post them? Some stories might require an executive decision, go ahead and take it where you want." Rhia waved dismissively and shrugged. It seemed as if she was trying to get the trivial things out of the way first.

"Third: My kitchen. Wow. Look at my priorities if my kitchen is third thing on the list…" She laughed. "Anyways. Keep it clean, you guys. Don't let the living, mutated, almost sentient mold back in. That stuff was _hard_ to kill. Use it however you want, I know that stasis pantry will come in handy." She leaned into the camera, as if to make her point. She then relaxed against the chair she was sitting in.  
"If a new agent comes in who also cooks a lot, let them have it. An area where one doesn't have to compete for space, where one can cook _wherever and whatever_ one wants, it's extremely valuable. Don't begrudge the new agent this gift. And if they don't want to cook for you, let them be. Cooking for others is nerve wracking. You never know what the response is going to be." She ticked things off her fingers.

"Ah! Fourth: Bury my wakizashi with me, yes? I like those swords." She paused again, and took a shuddering breath. This was the hard part.

"Fifth: The Society in General." Rhia snorted. "Well. Something got me. I do hope you guys got whatever got me back. And I hope the person responsible died a properly ironic death. If not, eh. I'll be waiting on the other side for them with one heck of a sledgehammer.

I left a few recipes in a folder in my kitchen for you guys. Feel free to try them." She tapped her chin with her finger.  
"Oh yeah! And feel free to raid my room for whatever you want. I don't think I'll need anything in there anymore."

Rhia smiled again.

"The Society's roots are in crack. Don't be upset over me too long? I really rather be remembered when you bite into something. Bye guys." She waved.

"Sixth: Natasha.

This is the second time you've lost someone close to you, isn't it? All I ask from you Tash is that you forgive me for leaving you like this. I'm sorry. Don't let this eat you. Please? In fact, as a command from this Will, someone must immediately hug Tash. Right now. And don't let go for a full minute. Or until she turns blue. Whatever happens first." Rhia was grinning, a full-blown, huge grin that took up most of her face and practically lit up the room. Michael, Miri and Harriet immediately all leaned in to hug Tash, who disappeared under them.

"Ok, now that you've had your hug, I want you to know. Thank you, thank you so much for telling me about the Anti-Cliché and Mary-Sue Elimination Society. I've had the absolute time of my life here. I know I'd be a different person without it, without having met you, or anyone else here and it's some of my most precious memories. Thank God for fanfiction and Piczo, huh?" The Fourth Wall shook a bit at this on the screen and in the Library.  
"Keep smiling, yes?" Rhia arched an eyebrow. "Or I swear I'll come back from the dead and poke you till you do."

Tash choked on a grin. "Do you mean that, Rhia? Would you really come back just to make me smile?"

"Seventh: Cristoph.

This…" She took another breath, and her eyes got bright. "This is where it gets hard. Everyone, do you think you could leave the room for a bit; this part is kind of private, for Cristoph only. If he wants to share afterwards, fine by me. I mean I'm dead, what fuss can I put up? I'll give you five minutes for you to pile out. I have a feeling there are a lot of people watching this."The Society complied. If there was one thing they all listened to, it was a dead woman's last words. Michael gripped Cristoph's shoulder as he walked past. Cristoph barely acknowledged it.

"Cristoph." Rhia rubbed her hand over her face. It seemed that was the only thing keeping her from breaking down in tears. "I am so sorry. If I could have done anything to keep this from happening, I would have."

Rhia gave the camera a small, sad smile. "I remember how we first met face to face. You were trying to steal some habañeros from me. And me being me just gave them to you with the offer of more later. What caught my attention was the fact that you were polite about it. And then, well, it went from there. In a place where many people are just so chatty, and more than a little insane, you were very much a calm, soothing peace." Her eyes were bright, water was gathering in the corners. Cristoph was fighting to keep his breathing slow and even. He knew that if he let himself, he'd break down then and there. Rhia wiped again at her eyes and gained a bit of vehemence to her voice.

"Cristoph, your memories mean so much to you. They've left you with nightmares and so many sleepless nights that you can't help but wonder exactly what happened to you. I understand that the past shapes the future, and that these memories are an extremely important missing piece to you. Don't fear them.  
Whoever you were before, it won't change who you are now. And if you ever do get those memories back, you'll still be Cristoph, because some things just don't disappear or change with the memories. You'd still be the same person."

Rhia paused and took a breath. "What I'm about to say is something I've never had to courage to say before, and it seems I died before I got to say it in person. If there's one regret I have it's that. For that, I am sorry, Cristoph.

I realized my true feelings for you a little after Adrian died. Woke up one day and ran all the way to your room and almost barged in before I knew what I was doing. Then I went and turned red and ran back to my room in embarrassment. Remember that day in the kitchen when we were taking stock of everything and I admitted to you that I was more relieved that you were ok than grieved at Adrian's death? I damn near said it then. Wish I had now. I was hinting at it, I was hinting at it _so_ much. But I was afraid I would scare you off. Do you remember?"

He remembered.

* * *

"_Cristoph…this is hard… God his death hurts, but I'm grateful that if someone had to die, it was him. And not you._

_I understand where Tash is right now, and if you had died, I'd be right where she is. And for that, for the fact that I do not have to deal with that pain, I thank him with all my soul. I'd give almost anything to bring Adrian back for all of us, but I can't._

_I almost thought I'd lost you, when the Smiths said they'd found you, and turned you into one of them._

_I know exactly where Tash is, in her grief. I don't have to imagine it."_

* * *

"Well, I'm gonna say it now, even if it's too late, it should be said." She smiled, and it lit up her face like a beacon.

"Cristoph Asahina. I love you."

"Goodbye, my gallant knight errant." Rhia stood up and looked directly into the camera, it made Cristoph feel as if she was really there. He just had to reach out and touch her.

"This concludes my Last Will and Testament." Her voice turned rather flat, in comparison to everything else she had said, like she didn't want to stop talking. She knew, long ago when she had recorded this that when she stopped talking, it would be the last thing anyone heard of her. Rhia gave one last, small smile, and the picture went dark.

Cristoph exited the theatre and was met with everyone who had left a few minutes earlier.

"It's over." He told them, quietly. The only evidence that he might have been crying was his red-rimmed eyes. He pulled out a few pellets from a pocket and threw them on the ground. A cloud of smoke grew and expanded, and by the time it was gone, so was Cristoph.

* * *

_Flashback:_

With an electric fizzle, the lights went out, dropping the kitchen into pitch blackness.

"Oh dear, that's not good." Rhia got up to flick the light switch when someone grabbed her from behind. She screamed, and was cut off when a cloth went over her face. Rhia struggled, twisting her body every which way to get free. _'Damn it, I can't breathe!' _Rhia tried to wrench herself out of the other's grip but couldn't. _'What is on…this…cloth…?'_ She dropped to the ground when her legs failed to support her. She couldn't tell that her sight was going dark, but her body failed to respond to her. _'No…'_ In the end, everything disappeared into the black abyss.

_End Flashback_

* * *

Reality returned to Rhia in short, mismatched signals that almost made things worse. Her head felt like it was floating, and not at all connected to her body in the way that it should be; which was at the end of her neck. Instead it was only connected by a thin string of some sort, letting it spin every which way, like a balloon.

'_Nnngghhh…bit groggy…don' wanna open my eyes.'_

"Great! Our guest is awake! How are you, dear?"

"Roxelana? The hell?" Rhia's voice was quiet, and just a bit raspy. _'Ooooh, looking up was a bad idea. Everything's fuzzy and spinning…and hurting, stupid headache, I didn't ask for you.'_

"Hello!" Roxelana was bouncing on the balls of her feet, a huge smile on her face. "Told you you'd see me again."

"Where am I?" '_And where are my glasses? I need those…'_

"Ooooh, somewhere, some-when." Roxelana shrugged, those two facts were completely unimportant to her. It also helped that not saying anything would unnerve her 'guest.' "Nothing you need to worry about, my dear. What you need to worry about is how long you're gonna live, and how long it's gonna take you to make peace with your Maker."

"What have you done?" Rhia's raspy voice hid her fear. _'No, no, no no no no no no no no….!'_

"Oh, nothing overly distressing, dear." Roxelana's smile was no longer all that innocent, and it was impossible to tell the difference between her irises and her pupils, the black was so dark. "Just kidnapped you, and made sure your little Society friends won't be coming after you." She laughed a cute little giggle that just set Rhia on edge even more. "They think you're dead. This'll be true eventually; don't worry, but just not yet."

"Bitch." _'What? No, what did she do, oh angels, Cristoph…'_

Roxelana raised one haughty eyebrow. "Tsk, tsk, dear, now, no naughty words. Must make this as pleasant as possible, now."

"…How?" '_Please be something stupid, something easy, let it be seen through, no, no, no!'_

"Grabbed some of your DNA earlier. It was such a nice date, wasn't it?" She sighed, as if remembering pleasant memories. "It's the second date now, aren't you just so lucky?" She smiled. "Got a temp-clone made and I slit its throat as soon as I had you under control. Body won't even be there anymore after a couple days…(a) got me in. Such a nice sentient computer program, don't you think?" The Sue put her chin in her hand, in mock thought.

"No." _'No...'_

"Aww, such a spoil sport, dear. I think I need to cheer you up. Otherwise, this date won't be much fun at all. We'll be starting soon, dear, don't worry."

"What?" _'I'm not your dear!'_

"You'll see!" She teased, skipping around Rhia's chair like a school girl. She giggled in that high-pitched way again. "We're gonna have so much _fun_!"

* * *

Tash's communicator buzzed in the holster on her hip.

"Tash here. What do you need?"

Valerie's face appeared in miniature on the screen. "Morgue. ASAP."

"What? Why?"

"Just…get down here." Her face was unusually pale, even with the communicator's slight distortion.

Tash huffed and put her hands on her hips. The morgue was one of the last places she wanted to be at the moment. "Right, I'm here. What's going on?"

"Tash, what do you see?"

Tash looked around the morgue with a quick scan. Stainless steel tables, white walls, coolers for dead bodies along one wall. "Nothing. Why?"

"That's exactly it, Tash. Nothing. Rhia's body is _gone._"

"WHAT?"

* * *

Ah. So here is the end of chapter two. I wonder how many of you I got to cry.

To all of you who were surprised last chapter that I killed my character: Nah. I like her too much, and there's so much I can do with her still! But it was a good way to get your attention, no? *snickers* I have no shame. At all.

Fun fact: This whole story grew out of the plot bunny that was Rhia's Will. And said will has gone through revision at least three different times. I hope you liked this, I really do. I enjoyed writing it.

Chapter three is the final chapter in this story, and will not come out for a little while yet. It is PLANNED, so don't worry, but give me a couple days to a week to write the whole thing out.

So, what do you think?

Read, review, multiply by 42?


	3. Chapter 3

Holy crud.

Here's the final chapter. Nice and long for you guys. Or at least longer than the last two have been. I am so sorry it's late, the last week for me has been hectic and busy and three different types of headaches.

There may be an epilouge. I don't know. Bother me about it in late July when I'll have the time to think about it.

Any more comments I may have will be at the end.

Disclaimer: I don't own Kick A**. Don't sue, I have enough problems already without that.

Without further ado...

* * *

A week since the day Rhia was discovered dead. Seven days. One hundred and sixty-eight hours. Ten thousand and eighty minutes. However one counted the passing time, it was a waking nightmare for the Society. One of their own was gone. They'd recovered, for the most part but it was an oddly shaped hole she left behind. Certain smells would have one person or another peek their head in to see what was cooking, hoping it was Rhia, only to see another agent and turn away.

It'd been five days since the Will had been read. It helped somewhat, leaving a happy, or at least pleasant, end note.  
Tash and Valerie had kept quiet on the disappearing body. It made Valerie even guiltier, and left Tash at a complete loss. Both were confused as to why her body would disappear like that. It simply didn't make sense.

It'd been two days since anyone had seen Cristoph. They didn't even know where he was in the Library, let alone if he was in his room or not. Knowing him, this was understandable, and a Search and Rescue mission would be launched if there was no sign of him in another few days.

An alert sounded in the Monitor room, loud and blaring. The screens all flashed and turned to the same image. This happened only when a Sue that had already been encountered by an agent resurfaced in another fandom. All known stats appeared, along with the name of the agent that originally faced off against them, and any others if applicable.

Michael's expression turned dark, and he hit the comm. button. "Phoenixia, call an Emergency Society meeting. We've got a Sue in the Kick Ass fandom."

* * *

Rhia heard the screech of a door opening and closing, and steel-toed boots hitting a metal floor before Roxelana came into view, a huge smile on her face.

"Hello again dear. How have you been doing?"

Rhia glared.

"Oh, that's right. You lost your voice. I'm _sorry_ about that, my dear. It's time soon, though." She giggled, and turned in a little circle. "You know, you've been here for about two days. And we've had such fun. Time flies so fast. You're a very good screamer; I hope you take that as a compliment. Your voice carried quite a ways away." She sighed, and put a hand to her face as if in thought. "Who is this Cristoph you were screaming for, dear? A brother?"

Rhia started pulling against her bonds frantically, teeth bared in an expression of frustration.

"Ooooh, from your reaction there I guess not. A lover, then?" Her hands clasped together in excitement. "His reaction when he found you dead _must_ have been _priceless._ I wonder if (a)'s got footage…"

The bonds around Rhia's wrists started to rub the skin raw as she pulled.

"I guess I can go after him next then. All I have to do is play a recording of your screams and he'd follow me to the ends of the Earth. Oh, this is just perfect."

Rhia had stopped struggling and stared at Roxelana with enough hate that it was possible that she would just spontaneously combust.

"Didn't think it was possible for plans to go this smoothly. Oh, yes, everything's going nicely. You didn't lose your voice from all your screaming, though many would have. It was in the water I was giving you, a handy little chemical that made your vocal cords swell up completely. You can't say a thing! And that's not the last thing I'm going to take away. No, first were your friends, and then your voice. Next it's your hearing, and then your sight. And then, well…" She shrugged. "You'll go the way of your clone."

Rhia clenched her jaw.

* * *

"Kick Ass isn't a kind fandom. It's violent, and it's all too easy to die there. From what Tash's Plot Summary has told us, the main character almost did. Twice." Michael said at the head of the table.

"Then why call a meeting? Just have a Society muster and beat the crap out whatever Sue is there." Ben asked.

"People are wary of vigilantes in this fandom. And it has a real world effect. If we suddenly start throwing around magic powers, we're gonna catch attention." Michael paused. "Also, it's a Sue we've dealt with before. Roxelana."

One of the chairs was suddenly missing the person that was sitting in it, spinning from the speed of his departure.

"Cristoph! Wait!" Michael's shout was a bit futile. "Well, I was going to have three people volunteer, and I guess he's one of them. Anyone else?"

"Count me in. Been wanting to beat on something lately and haven't had the chance." Willie raised his hand.

Ingrid slowly raised hers. "I'll go."

Michael was surprised. "You sure?"

"Yeah." She nodded, lips pursed. "I can do this."

"Ok. Valerie, be ready in case they come back with injuries. This fandom is fond of bullets."

* * *

Cristoph dashed across a roof, nothing more than a black blur to any who might have seen him. Unlikely. It was dark, and the lights in this neighborhood were orange and dim; nowhere near the strength they needed to be to reveal him to anyone. The edge of the building loomed, he jumped, and landed square on the next building, three feet up. He kept going.

Running like this was a bit of a relief. It drowned out all the thoughts he'd been having lately, the red splash that was almost permanently shadowed on the back of his eyelids. The wind whistling by his ears filled the silence that pushed in his ears; it was either that or a gargled scream.  
He shook his head violently. Musing on something that had already happened would not help things now!

A flash of movement caught Cristoph's eye, and he slowed down to let the person catch up.

"You're new in town." The girl had violently electric purple hair, a mask over her eyes, a leather jacket zipped shut, and a plaid, knee-length skirt over leather pants.

"Yeah."

"I'm Hit Girl."

"Cristoph."

Hit Girl narrowed her eyes. "You shouldn't tell anyone your real name; it'll bite you in the butt later."

Cristoph shrugged. "I'm not going to be here long. Looking for someone."

"There's a new girl on the beat. You looking for her?"

"Possibly." He looked sideways at her. "What does she look like?"

"Tall. Thin, black hair, black eyes. Calls herself Black Abyss. Quite a bit of a looker."

"That's her, most likely."

"Been keeping an eye on her." Hit Girl crossed her arms. "Don't quite trust her motivations. Something always seems off. Always gets out of things with the least casualties that I've ever seen. And she always comes out unscathed. You have something to settle with her?"

"Of a sort." Cristoph shrugged again.

"I want in on the take-down. I know where her center of operations is, I can take you."

"Fine."

"Three days. At the harbor. Six pm." Hit Girl turned and disappeared into the shadows.

* * *

Roxelana skipped into Rhia's view, a smile on her face. She waved at her.

The Sue started to say something, covered her mouth in fake shock, and pointed. She got very close, face only a couple inches from Rhia's, and tapped her own ears in understanding. She smirked.

Rhia snarled, lip curling up and showing teeth. Her rage was only a mask, however; her hands were gripping the armrests and her knuckles were white.

Roxelana smiled fondly and patted Rhia on the head. She backed up and brought out a five inch knife, eyeing the edge before her shoulders shook in a giggle.

* * *

The sun was setting behind the three agents and one vigilante, lengthening their shadows far beyond what was normal. The dockyard was quiet for that time of day, wind whispering through the crate aisles where instead there should have been the sound of slamming metal, the shouts of the dockworkers, and the rumble of ships' horns.

Ingrid, Willie, Cristoph and Hit Girl hid in the shadow of one of the cargo crates to the front and right of the target crate.

"So, what's the battle plan?" Willie whispered.

"Pincer movement. We wait until she comes out and then don't let her—Wait!" Hit Girl stopped when she realized Cristoph wasn't in the huddle anymore. "Where'd the ninja go?"

Ingrid pointed. "Up there."

Cristoph was on top of the second level of cargo crates, looking almost straight down on what intel said was Roxelana's headquarters. He'd drawn one of his sai in one hand and three shuriken in the other. His focus was completely on the doors of the crate, waiting for his prey to come out.

"Okaaaay…I guess that's his position." Hit Girl shrugged. An overhead strike would work just fine for this. "We wait until she comes out and then attack her all at once. Willie, you stay here and rush her from the far side. Ingrid, you'll rush her from the center. I'll rush her from the far left until you have her thoroughly distracted, and then I'll try and break into that crate. I know Black Abyss has some info on the more prominent gang leaders."

The other two nodded and they got into position. Cristoph hadn't moved from his spot on higher ground, and had become nearly invisible against the backdrop of a black painted crate.

Then, fifteen minutes later, the door to the crate creaked open and a tall, wraith-like girl walked out. Dressed in a black, skintight cat suit, and black boots, with raven's wing black hair done in a braided ponytail. It was Black Abyss, or to the Society agents, Roxelana Ambrosia Aurelius Terelli.

Simultaneously, Willie, Ingrid and Hit Girl shot forward towards their target. Though Roxelana was surprised, she recovered quickly and pulled her steel batons from their holsters, already moving to attack the oncoming trio. But a trio of shuriken from the shadows forced her back as they embedded themselves in the concrete near her feet even as their owner leapt out of the shadows at her. She darted left to avoid him and found herself face-first with Hit Girl.

Metal ground against metal as the cross of the batons caught Hit Girls' naginata. The Sue shoved the bladed weapon aside and snapped a baton at the masked girl's head and forcing Hit Girl to leap back or get a sizable dent in her skull. The vigilante whirled, her heel catching Roxelana on the face and as the Sue stumbled, thrust her weapon forwards. But the Sue was quick and deflected the blade so it only left a harmless rip in her outfit. A rapid exchange of weapons' blows followed and then Hit Girl caught Roxelana's wrist as it came at her for an outside swing, creating the opening necessary to kick her a dozen feet towards Ingrid.

"You-" Still off balance from the kick, Roxelana's parry was too wide as Ingrid's knife sliced a red line down her right arm. "You-!" But then Ingrid's knife went clattering to the ground as the Sue made a swift in-step, smashing one baton across the Agent wrist and the other across throat, dropping Ingrid to her knees as she gasped for air before a kick to the face sent her sprawling backwards.

Willie came next, his barber razor's glinting slightly as he slashed at the Sue's head, but his choice of weapons had put him too far into Roxelana's reach and she easily leaned back to avoid the slash and then smashed a baton into his forehead, leaving him dazed and reeling. A second passed and he was suddenly staring at the sky, only vaguely realizing that she had swept his feet out from under him.

The light flashed and a spark flew as Roxelana blocked the blur that filled the space that Willie had just vacated, the razor edge of the sword blade not an inch from her head.

"I have a score to settle with you, Sue."

Ingrid called out, "You sure about this, Cristoph?"

Roxelana heard the name and just started to laugh, chin up and mouth open. Her guard even dropped, but everyone else was too surprised to take advantage of it. "You're Cristoph? Oh, this is just _perfect_. I get to gloat."

Cristoph raised an eyebrow. "Your point?"

"Oh, you must've gotten there too late. Did you break down in tears? Did you scream, throw something? Oh, even _better_, did you clutch at the body, hoping she would wake up? What'ja do? I'm _curious_." She giggled, then, a high pitched number that grated on everybody's nerves.

It was starting to click in the agent's minds.

"You…" Willie whispered.

"Yes, me." She grinned and turned back to Cristoph. "She called for you. Or, well…" Roxelana shrugged. "She tried. Hard to do with a second mouth."

Cristoph was shaking now, in anger, and was making no move to hide it. Hit Girl was using this distraction to work on the nasty-looking lock on the cargo crate.

"You won't leave this fandom free, Roxelana. If I have it my way, you won't leave it alive."

She sneered. "Prove it."

Cristoph dashed at Roxelana, his blade flashing for her head. But at the last second, she blocked with a baton in a clang of metal and spun around his sword arm, using the momentum from the spin to smash her other baton into his back, sending him stumbling and then sprawling forwards.

"Gah!" Wincing, he turned to face his opponent again, his hand flicking out as he did. Fountains of smoke erupted near Roxelana's feet and she coughed and staggered, blinking her watery-eyes to clear them enough just in time to see Cristoph rushing towards her. The sais crossed at her throat, an inch away from nicking the skin, and he pushed her back until she slammed against a cargo crate wall.

"You killed her! Why?" He towered over her, very much the dark void he said he was.

Roxelana giggled. "She caught my attention."

Cristoph drew back his sais and grabbed her by the neck, lifting her up until her feet were off the ground. "That's it? That's the only reason?" He snarled, and threw her on the ground. Roxelana landed hard on her back.

"Oh, did I make you _upset again_? I'm sorry. Let me make it _all_ better." Grabbing her batons from where they had fallen, she flipped off the ground and gave Cristoph an uppercut with her baton that had him spitting blood. She giggled again.

"No more. I'm done with you." He rushed her one more time, fast, and this time she couldn't dodge. His tackle pushed her face first into the ground. Keeping his knee in the small of her back, he drew out a pair of Prohibitors and slapped them on her hands behind her back.

Cristoph drew her up roughly to her knees and looked her in the eye. "You will stay put. You _will_ _not_ resist when we bring you in. If you as much as _twitch_ wrong, I'll place this dart," he drew out a thin, almost invisible blow dart out of a compartment in his ninjato's scabbard, "right into your neck. It's laced with fugu poison. It's a neurotoxin that stops your breathing bit by bit. I would enjoy watching you die slowly."

Roxelana stared, and started to giggle. "Oh, wow. Sounds like fun." She continued to snicker quietly to herself.

Cristoph recoiled, disgusted. "You can't be serious." No response, Roxelana was in her own little world, amused at something only she could think of.

Ingrid walked up. "Ready to go?"

"Yeah." He eyed the Sue talking to herself on the ground. "I'll be happy to put her in a deep, dark cell and completely forget about her."

"Hey, Cristoph," Hit Girl called from the doors of the crate. "C'mere."

"Hold on!" He turned to Willie. "Watch her; I'll be back in a minute."

"Right." He turned and grinned at Roxelana, looking not all that sane himself. "So, you're the one to blame for Rhia's death? This'll be fun." Hellfire bloomed to life in his hands.

* * *

Cristoph jogged over to where Hit Girl was standing, looking oddly nervous. "Yeah? Look, we've got what we came for, and so do you, thanks for your help…"

Hit Girl jerked a thumb behind her. "Took a look around, didn't see anything in the way of papers, but for some reason Black Abyss had a hostage. Tried to get her to talk so I could help her, but she just flinched away from me and didn't say anything." She shrugged. "Maybe you could do something?"

"Did you say 'her'?" Cristoph asked, suddenly looking very intense.

"Yeah, there's a girl—" Cristoph tore into the crate. She stared at the spot he was just in. "Haven't seen anyone move that fast in a long time." She shrugged it off and went to talk to Ingrid. Maybe she would say just why Cristoph had been so intent after Black Abyss.

* * *

It was a lot darker in the crate than outside, with the only source of light coming from a dim, orange hued light bulb near the front. The crate itself was barren of anything except two chairs, some cut rope, a knife, and a lump in the back left corner.

Further inspection of the lump revealed it as a person sitting on the floor, knees bent, head tucked in, and arms wrapped around their knees.

Cristoph took a few steps closer, and then rubbed at his eyes to make sure they were working right. "Rhia?"

Rhia didn't move. He placed a hand on her shoulder and she cringed away from it, tucking herself further into the corner. He pulled his hand away as he narrowed his eyes. Something was wrong.

He snapped his fingers next to her ear with no reaction, and realized she was completely deaf. And most likely blind as well or she would have looked up to see what it was next to her.

He sat down next to her, as close as he could without touching. She sat there, knuckles white where they gripped her elbows. Ever so softly, he rested his hand on hers. She tensed, but didn't move this time. She couldn't, stuck between what she saw as a danger and the wall. He left it there, and didn't move. A moment passed, and then another. Her grip on her elbows lightened. Cristoph waited, patiently. Her hand under his twitched, lifting slightly and turning over. Her fingers started rubbing over that hand, feeling the calluses and small scars there, marks that Roxelana did not have. She started to uncurl from the ball she put herself in. She turned towards him, other hand reaching for another point of contact. Cristoph took that hand and brought it up to his face.

It only took a few seconds for Rhia to rub her thumb over the edge of his cowl and run her fingers along his facial structure to realize who he was.

She clutched at him for all she was worth, tears streaming down her face. Cristoph gathered her up in his arms and held her tightly, burying his face into her hair, rubbing small circles on her back.

* * *

It'd been thirty minutes since the third member of their group had gone into the crate to investigate exactly what was in there. Willie and Ingrid knew Cristoph could take care of himself, but if it was taking this long, then something really had his attention. Hit Girl had left a few minutes ago, citing that she had other obligations.

"I'm gonna go see what's taking Cristoph so long. We've got the Sue, and the longer we're here…" Ingrid stopped short. The door creaked open, squeaky hinges heralding a departure. Cristoph walked out, a figure held in his arms bridal style. "Who's that…oh God…" Ingrid's jaw dropped to the ground.

"What's going on?" Willie craned his head around Ingrid's shoulder and almost lost control of his Hellfire in shock. "Is that…?"

"Rhia? Yeah, I think so." Ingrid whirled around and grabbed Willie by the shoulders. "Get that plot hole set up. Call ahead and have Valerie get ready for her. This is the first bit of really good news the Society's had in a while."

Willie nodded, eyes set.

Ingrid ran up and matched Cristoph's pace. "Is she ok?"

"No. She's deaf, blind, and mute; didn't even know it was me at first." Now that Ingrid was closer, she could tell that Rhia's eyes were wide open, but not focused on anything. Her hands had a death grip on a part of Cristoph's shirt, knuckles almost bone white. "I want to get her home."

"Already set up, Willie's got the plot hole up and running."

"Thank you, Lady Ingrid."

* * *

Valerie was tapping away on a computer, finishing up a report when she heard a clatter from the med ward. She craned her head around the door and her eyes went wide. Rhia was up and experiencing a panic attack. Knowing her empathy only worked one way, Valerie sped across the corridor.

"Cristoph!" Said ninja immediately appeared.

"Yes, Lady Valerie?"

"Rhia's up and experiencing a panic attack, I need your help to get her to…calm…down." He was already halfway to the medical ward by the time she had finished. Valerie trotted after him.

He arrived to the sound of Rhia hyperventilating. Rushing over and at a complete loss of what else to do, he hugged her. She stiffened for moment, surprised, but relaxed when she recognized who it was that was hugging her. Gripping his arm hard enough to leave marks behind, she struggled to slow her breathing down. It helped that he was rubbing small circles into her back.

"-istoph?" Rhia's voice was soft, high pitched, and scratchy. He hugged her tighter in response. "Water."

He looked around, but couldn't find anything nearby until he saw Valerie with a paper cup and a pitcher.

"I'll leave you two alone for now. Be careful, she's still on edge from everything." She turned to go with a smile on her face. This was the first bit of definite good news anyone had had in a while.

He handed Rhia the cup and she moved slowly, feeling where the rim of the cup was before taking a swallow.

"Thanks." Her voice was still quiet, but not as scratchy as before. "I still…can't hear-or, or see anything." Cristoph made to sit down on the chair next to the bed. "Stay with me, up here? Please?" He wasn't as reluctant as he thought he'd be when he raised the front half of the bed and got in, placing Rhia in his lap and wrapping his arms around her. She practically melted into the embrace.

"It's quiet. It's so quiet. Can't even hear myself talk. I know am, I can feel it." She shuddered. "Need to say it all now, while I can't hear myself or I won't be able to say it." She curled into herself again, pressing her cheek into Cristoph's shoulder. "She took things away from me little by little. After a couple days it was my voice. Two days of screaming and then I couldn't say a word. Couple more days after that I couldn't hear anything. Then my sight. And it just didn't disappear immediately; it…faded, like a final scene in a movie. Details went fuzzier than ever without my glasses, color grayed out, and then it just kept getting darker and darker on me. Remember staring directly at that light bulb…That light bulb went darker and darker on me like it was on a dimmer and someone kept turning the switch down." She shuddered again.

Rhia went silent, and stayed that way until she fell asleep again.

* * *

Rhia woke up the next morning to the slight sound of breathing and the hum of the air running through the vents. She moved, and the bed creaked. She heard the sound her hands made when she clapped them together. She blinked, hard, but no luck. She couldn't see. _Still. _Darn it.

"Cristoph, you there?" She felt a hand take her right one. She smiled, her first in a while. "I can hear, now. I certainly hear myself talking."

"That's good, milady." His voice was strained.

"It's really nice to hear you."

"Rhia…do you know what _she_ did to make it seem as though you were dead?" The lack of a title surprised Rhia, and her eyebrows shot up in confusion.

"Well, she said she got a clone and killed it…but…you found me so I figured that you knew it was fake." She shrugged and smiled, but that smile disappeared with Cristoph's next few words.

"Oh, Rhia, no, she…it _worked_. Angels, it worked so well. The lights went out, Marcus and a few others heard you scream, we all ran to the kitchen, and saw what we thought was your body on the floor, throat cut. We didn't know what to think. Least of all to think that it might be a body double. A few suspected Willie, but that didn't wash over well." He hugged her suddenly, she squeaked at just how tightly he was holding her. "We all thought you were _gone_, in a way we couldn't get you back, we had a wake, and…we heard your will."

Rhia turned red. Didn't matter if she couldn't see, she still went bright as a cherry.

"I, uh…erm, I…that was…"

"Rhiannon." She stopped stammering and froze. He took her chin in his fingers and turned it in the direction of his face. "If you didn't have the courage then, take the courage now, and say it here. You should not have any regrets. Not with that." His voice was low, deep, and full of something that Rhia couldn't quite identify.

She opened her mouth a couple of times and then determinedly shut it. She blinked, and said, "Cristoph Asahina. I love you."

She stopped breathing completely when she felt his lips against hers. Her heart stopped and then went three times faster than normal. Everything else went out the window. All that mattered was then and there and the fact that Cristoph was kissing her.

Cristoph slipped his hands under her and pulled her to him, taking her out of the bed and placing her in his lap. They separated, and Rhia was completely breathless.

"I lost you, and by complete and total luck I have you back. I'm not going to waste it." He kissed her again, this time deeper and longer. At the end, Cristoph rested his forehead on Rhia's.

"That was…really, really nice."

Cristoph smiled, even though she couldn't see it.

"One thing, though."

"Hm?"

"Wish I could see you. Would make this much more enjoyable."

Cristoph laughed; one of the rare times Rhia had ever heard him do so. "It won't be too difficult to start this up again, Rhiannon."

"Mmm. Sounds good."

* * *

Done! Donedonedone! HA! *flops over and dies* Man, this chapter had a lot more revision than anything else I've ever done, and I'm STILL not quite happy with it. Had I more time and available brain power, there'd be more detail. And less holes. Mnnph. And this would've gone to a beta. As it is, it's 4:15am and I want my bed.

Notes: I hope you guys figured out that the scenes with Rhia and Roxelana were slightly off kilter timeline wise to the ones with the Society. They merge only with the battle scene.  
Speaking of the battle scene! THANK YOU VERY MUCH Master of the Library for help with writing that thing. Domo arigato, Sensei! *bows*

Thank you PrinceAladdin2 for letting me use Willie, and thanks to gdouglas for offering up Ingrid to any and all.

And Hurricane's Quill? I hope your next stories build a bit on the Martialshipping relationship. Because I just went and wrote their first kiss scene...Wheeee...*is completely ready to throw in the towel*

Hope I made you shippers on deck happy. I know there are a few of you...*pointedly looks at Mei-1105* I can hear your squealing all the way over where I am.

Ok, I think I hit on everything I needed to...OH!

To all the reviewers who have reviewed the last two chapters. THANK YOU VERY MUCH! I have never gotten so many reviews so fast, or so many reviews for a two-chapter story, period.

Ok, I'm done.

Read, review, multiply by 42?


	4. Chapter 4

Well now. This is the epilogue to _**Insert Bad Superhero Name Here**_. It gathers up the dangling plot and idea threads that IBSNH and _**Insert Victorian Age Slash Here**_ left. I hope it is to your satisfaction.

Thanks to all my reviewers. I've never gotten so many reviews for any short story I've written. Never gotten such a good response. THANK YOU.

This chapter is specifically dedicated to _**Ossa**_, because of the mistake I made in Insert Victorian Age Slash Here. You will see. I am sorry, Ossa. I hope this makes up for it.

In other news. I've offically turned 19. This is to celebrate a bit. *nodnod*

Disclaimer: I don't own Kick A$$. Or Halo, which gets a small mention here. *nodnod*

Without further ado...

* * *

Rhia clenched her hands into her sheets. It'd been three days since…._that._ On the first day her voice came back. The second, her hearing. It was the third, and hopefully, _hopefully,_ today would be the day her sight came back.

She blinked, multiple times, like she was getting something out of her eyes. He opened them, wide, and saw a faint, white glow. Possibly the fluorescent ceiling lights.

"Cristoph?" An arm around her shoulders answered her. She squeezed her eyes tightly, rubbing the heels of her palms into her eyes.

"C'mon….this has to work." Rhia muttered quietly, and gritted her teeth.

"Don't rush it, Rhia. It has to come on its own." Valerie said, pulling one of Rhia's hands from her eyes.

"Nyeeeeh." She blinked again, and looked up. There were two large, blurry shapes in front of her. "Almost there." Rhia closed her eyes one more time, and then opened them slowly.

There was one blurry shape in front of her now. She squinted, and the figure sharpened; black hair, a face, sharp grey eyes. "Cristoph."

Cristoph smiled. "Welcome back."

* * *

Rhia cracked the door open and peeked out. And then jerked her head back, the beginnings of fear on her face.

"Dear God," she breathed. "They're all out there. All of them." Her eyes were as wide as dinner plates. "Is there any other way to get out of here?"

Cristoph pulled out a couple smoke pellets and rolled them around in his hand.

Valerie grimaced, "No, unfortunately, there isn't. Not that I know of." She shrugged. "I think you have to face them."

Rhia face palmed. "Ohhhhh boy."

She pushed the door open again or stepped out, Cristoph right behind her. She stood there, facing the whole Society, with a couple of the shorter ones—Miriku and Tyler—jumping up and down to get a better look.

A moment of silence so thick it put London fog to shame, and then, a clap. And another. And more until they gathered into a soft storm of applause. Rhia and Cristoph stood in awe in front of the gathered Society.

Tash waded through the crowd almost like Moses to the front and lightly hugged Rhia. "I'm glad you're back."

Rhia smiled into Tash's shoulder. "Me too."

* * *

Rhia surveyed her kitchen from the door. One hand was on her hip, the other ran through her hair, tousling it a bit. She huffed, and turned it into a sigh. "This…is gonna be a lot of work."

The stove/oven combination was still a melted wreck; it'd be a wonderful piece of modern art. What was worse was the faded rust red stain on the floor. Blood didn't come out of tile. Not completely. She'd have to pull the tile out and replace it, which equaled about a full day's work. And she still didn't know where she'd get the new stove.

A hand touched her shoulder.

Willie jerked his head back and blinked. Rhia's fist was a hairsbreadth away from his nose.

"Willie!" Rhia yelped and rubbed at her chest, just over her heart. "You should know better than to sneak up on me."

"Sorry." He sheepishly rubbed the back of his head. "I just….just want to say sorry…for all the trouble I caused."

A soft smile grew on Rhia's face. "Apology accepted."

"And, well, I also got you a new stove. Phoenixia helped me pick it out because I know nothing about stoves but I paid for it. I…I hope you like it."

Rhia's smile grew.

* * *

Her footsteps clicked quietly down the stone stairs. She stopped, and braced herself with a hand on the wall as her leg suddenly decided to ache along the break lines because of the change in pressure. The Basement's security had been upped ever since The Invasion, but on the surface it was still very much the unnerving, creepy place it had always been. Slightly darker than any other room, cooler, and the walls seemed like they were closing in.

There were fewer sues in the cells then there had been, but there was only one she was looking for.

"Hey. You. Wake up." The bars rattled as she shook them. Her voice was demanding, flat, hate simmering just underneath.

A giggle, girlish, and much too high-pitched to be sane came from the shadows. "Oh, hello, my dear. How are you? Bumped into any walls lately?" Roxelana sauntered to the bars, her face a few mere inches away.

Rhia narrowed her eyes into a glare that in some worlds _did_ kill. "I'm _not_ your dear. I have _one_ question for you, and then I will be quite happy to let you _rot_ here."

"What's that, then?" Her eyes were one large, deep, black hole that just went down and down and down and didn't stop. Rhia snarled and pulled her gaze away from Roxelana's, and paced back and forth in front of her cell.

The other sues and stus stopped whatever they were doing to watch the show.

Rhia charged forward again and reached through the bars to grab at Roxelana's shirt collar. She shook the sue roughly, which just made Roxelana grin.

"Why?" Rhia barked, her face a millimeter away from Roxelana's. The only thing saving Roxelana, it seemed, were the bars themselves.

"Why? Of _all_ the questions you could have asked me, you ask 'why'. Wow. You're dumber than I thought."

Rhia just shook Roxelana again.

"Oh, all right. If you must know." Roxelana grinned and ran her tongue over her front top teeth. "You asked for it. The _one_ Society member so firmly against any gay or lesbian relationship…you were just begging to get messed with. I have to wonder…how against it are you in real life? Hmmm? How many friendships have you destroyed because of your hate? Well? I bet at least a couple."

Rhia pushed Roxelana away from her in disgust. "I hope you decompose slowly."

Rhia stormed out of the Basement before she did something drastic, like pulling a knife out and doing to Roxelana what she wanted to do to Rhia.

* * *

That is all she wrote, folks.

It's 5am right now. I want sleep.

Once again, to all my reviewers, thank you so much for your wonderful response. You're amazing, you know that?

One more thing, to the Society Authors-If anyone wants to use Roxelana, let me know and I'll give you a bit more info on her. ^_^ She's free for grabs, if you can get her out of the basement.

Read, review, multiply by 42?


End file.
